Lost Angel

2008-06-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

The best way to drop into nothing is to do nothing.Those words have been my moto for a long time and will always be. For I choose them to be. Until, I can understand why?

2008-05-26T10:45:00.001-07:00

i feel like ian dead andnoone knows i am alive. is this how it will all end.

2008-05-24T01:16:00.001-07:00

Upcoming Events by Eventful

2008-05-22T09:14:00.000-07:00

This is strange for me to confuse, but I will not be doing this anytime soon. I am to DEEP in love with someone. Can't say who though. He is too much for me to ignore. Somehow, I think I feel him. Stupid, huh. So not, if you ever feel this deep burning fire at the bottom of your stomach. Just think about him is driving me crazy. Yet, I know or how could I even step up to him. Should I even write

2008-05-17T07:45:00.001-07:00

The bounds are about to break for me,s o I am leaving soon. Sigh, i wanted it to be another way, not like this. PRAY FOR ME!!!

2008-05-07T09:23:00.001-07:00

This is some fucking billshit. Why does everything have to be like this.

2008-04-28T11:27:00.001-07:00

No future fof the lost. I write in lumbo as I touch the sky with just a wave of my hand. The more I move the harder it gets to decided on the right direction. When and should I be able to move from this spot I am in.

2008-04-27T18:40:00.001-07:00

DAY THREE: I havn't been to any source connected to him for three days. The weridest things is I feel lighter, but unable to figureout where to start in this life. I miss just looking and reading about him. That can't be all their is to me life.

2008-04-24T04:40:00.001-07:00

I saw you in his eye. Everything about him reminded me of you. A untouchable song that I could never sing or truely hear. Every word he said passed right through my heart as something you would say. And, nothing makes me smile more then, what he said and did that was so much like you. I walked in and out of that lecture dreaming of you. Hoping you would meet me halfway. The thoughts of him lead

2008-04-20T02:27:00.001-07:00

You know the feeling of belogging for a minute, than being through aside like your nothing. I knwo t hat feeling. Maybe, I will find myself in this and grow.

2008-04-14T14:45:00.001-07:00

You know how you anticipate love coming in the form of a fiqure from your dreams. I see and feel that love everyday. No way I could hold that now. One day I shall. Until then I must live like love is by my side.So, sad at the moment, because I want to stay here. Not go home. I finally feel a drawn path. Please, god don't take this away from me. Not yet, please. All I can do is pray.

2008-04-09T19:28:00.001-07:00

You try to make the best of what is given to you. This feeling of blanking out is kill me.

2008-04-08T16:20:00.001-07:00

You have no idea what I see or feel. I wish I could write that in the sky and have all my troubles answeared just like that.

2008-03-31T21:36:00.001-07:00

Te Nosce - Know ThyselfThis is the Latin phrase that I heard while watching Super Rookie last week.I don't know, yet I do know myself. I can feel the shift of my emotions and that is scary. I love the feeling and hate it at the same time.Interesting Event:I walking to the college library and 6 times I felt spiderweb like threads hit my face. But, I get green worms falling on me instead. What are

2008-03-31T10:53:00.001-07:00

Why can't I find a job ? sigh I don't want to move back home. It seems like I am about too,If anyone is reading this pray for me.drowning in hopeleddness

2008-03-28T10:09:00.001-07:00

The hardest thing to do is to let go of you, But, I know that I have to ease the time I spend thing about you down alot. Wait for me. Because. I will still be waiting fro you.

2008-03-23T10:15:00.001-07:00

My name means "finding something" in Mayreer.

2008-03-20T00:42:00.001-07:00

I've always felt that in my heart I could overcome the odds and make it past who or what I was. For the past two days I thought I was, but.. then I came across all the bad decisions of the past. Letting so much slip away from me. This keeps playing in my head how or what I should have done. I want to be who I know I am. This time I feel like I am falling to deep. No way to get out of it. I am

2008-03-19T05:51:00.001-07:00

I have no idea what to say. Other then come a visit my firends site.HEROSTYLE -http://www.herostyle-cafe.com.

2008-03-13T06:03:00.001-07:00

You have no idea what you are doing to me. Sigh, I wish you could be more thena a shadow in the distance,

2008-03-12T10:07:00.001-07:00

Have you ever dreamed of someone? Yet, woke up to not remember a thing. Deep inside you know that you dreamed of them. Every aspect of them was so real to you. How I wish I could remember those dreams of him? That would be the only moment I get to touch him. That only time. Sigh.Moments like these make no sense to me. Dreams are only as real as you want them to be. And, I am fighting for mine.

2008-03-10T07:46:00.000-07:00

Finally, after a week I have changed the layout. I like it, but not that much. It needs something else. I don't know what. Anyway, i am out.

2007-11-25T23:48:00.001-08:00

What can I do to make the past stop hurting me so much. I iwsh that I could exprience that things that I dream about, Once dram about them.

2007-11-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

Is funny about these tarot reading I signed up for? These readings are correct in my thoughts and feelings. Did I mention that I am not in a relationship? And the readings are focused on my love life.The Seven of Swords card suggests that a bold approach might give you the upper hand in this matter. In fact, the possibility of being caught with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar might be half

2007-10-16T22:23:00.001-07:00

This is to all those who think love is not real or forever. You never know unless you have experienced it.

2007-08-31T05:42:00.000-07:00

Excerpts from ' The Story of a Boy 'He felt his heart grow weak because it was so overwhelming. Really.. can he really find his place in a city like this? The boy hesitated, his faith was shaken.But, the dream he has in his heart can’t die, if he just goes home like this, he’ll never forgive himself for being such a weak coward, so, without any

2007-08-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

A month without the man that I love. How cruel a torture is that. While I try to find direction in my life he will move on. Maybe this is what I need to get through the hardtimes that I am having. While good-bye my love. We will meet again.

2007-08-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

What tree did you fall from?ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness)pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, oddest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.That kind of right. Anyway, I have to say I like that.

2007-08-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

The self destructive path is one that I have taken all my life. Could the end be near for me? I feel it is. I am slowly taking my days away.

2007-08-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

I can't say whether or not what I feel for him is real. All I know is that I llke this feeling. Sometimes I wonder if we were meant to be. Either way I may be hurt in the end, but I love the feeling that this gives me. I was going to post his name, but I will not now. Because I feel that that will not make any diffence if I do. One day I will. The most heartbreaking thing is that he is

2007-03-27T09:40:00.001-07:00

WTF?

2007-01-23T15:50:00.000-08:00

Today, I am going crazy as the spell that cast over my life has faded and taken me prisoner in it web of death and pain. i just wante dto try to love again or just be loved and liked by someone. He was the angel that I wanted to wake up with every morning. What is wrong with me God? What have I forgotten or left that is no lo nger mine. I want to be forgotten and ever live again after tonight.

2007-01-22T23:27:00.000-08:00

I am truely lost in the night hours. I want to be born in 1986. In the life of someone that I want to think about, but know if I keep doing so. Pain will be all in my heart forever when this man that I like is taken by someone else. I wish that I could be apart of the world. But, I choose to watch from a distance. That is not a wish, but a curse. He is Korean. And, I am a African Americam girl

2006-12-30T14:40:00.000-08:00

One more day before the end of 2006. I am happy and scared at the same time. The world that I live has been cracked by images of death. DOG FARMS. The eating of dog meat is sick to me, but that is the way some cultures choose to live their lives I will not sit here and down them. I just have to regroup. That thought of it still hurts.

2006-12-24T21:58:00.000-08:00

Not A Single Day - Rain/BiI dream of something like the love you would give her. One day I feel like the shadows will make since to me. Until, then I will dream fo ever. One day this love will reach you. I understand and know that. Here is to you. The ones that never get to love and understand. One day. You wll have it.

2006-07-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

They say love is just like a rose. But, this love is like the sun. You are neve met to touch or gaze into each others eyes. This is the life that I choose to live. Loving you from a distance is what I wish to do. And, that will never change. I wil never be yours. You want something that I can never give you. And, that is love that will never fade. This heart is locked and you have the key. But

2006-07-12T10:17:00.000-07:00

The man that I feel for is taken by the storm of fame and will ever be returned to me. The eyes of my love will never look at me the same. He flys to and from while I look on and cry on the cold winter runway of LAX. Tomorrow he will see her and never me. Like the eyes of heaven on the angels of Lucifer. I am doomed to die in a unmarked grave and awake a creature of pure darkness.Idle reader of

2005-03-11T22:01:00.000-08:00

Love: My heart is crying out for it. And, I don't know what to do about it. Sometimes, I wonder am I ready to stop think of myself and let someone be a part of this. The world that I call my own. Do I want to share the precious moments of my life that I keep to myself. I am not ready. Me and only me is what I want to focus on.(In the middle of this post I was disconnected from the internet. I am

2005-03-05T21:11:00.000-08:00

Under the eyes of the heavens. I look at myself as a thinker not a doer. If I want this cycle of forevr to end I most cut all ties and make a new and the world of today. This is a new me. I will change. I am a thinker and a doer. One in the same.

2005-01-27T02:05:00.000-08:00

The Leiden Hymns (Page 47) [God is a master craftsman.] No one can ever make a true likeness of him. Alone in the darkness he works. He worked by himself to make somthing like him. He created himself with perfection and grace.

2005-01-11T22:32:00.000-08:00

The World of 2005 The world can say for a moment that it will helps others, but later it will chnage. The careless attitude of the nations will be back again. No one will remember or care about the victims of the tusunami. How will they fair in the coming months? I pray that they will survive and be stronger then before. I will repeat it again. The change of the world attiude will happen soon.

2004-12-21T11:02:00.000-08:00

The Real Me Angels never really protect the hearts of the broken. I am that. A loveless being with no means of life in me. I wonder who or what I am. A shell of a human or a alien meant to live among uncareing souls for the rest of her life. One day, I will understand. Until, then I am so lost.

2004-12-08T11:38:00.000-08:00

The side we choose today will reflect the changes of tommorrow. I know that they are together and I can't change that only she can. One day I will be leaving and moving on with my life. I have so many things to do. She has done what she wants to do. I still have not yet touched the surface of my dreams. Most, people are happy staying in one place forever. For me that is not to be. I feel the

2004-12-07T11:49:00.000-08:00

Mother's Boyfirend He is her boyfriend and all he wants to do is make this home his. Telling her children what to do. That is not a man. I don't like when he tells others that I am his daughter. He is not my father. She never corrects him at all. She is letting him take over. And, I am not letting him drag me down with him. I am going to do what is right and move on with my life. I just need to

2004-11-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

The lies that are told by the heart can never be explained to me in simple words. I am so stressed out because of life. Could there be so many wrong turns in my life that has lead me to be the way that I am? Or is this just who I am? Finally, I am going to breakdown and tell you something. .......................nothing.

2004-10-18T23:51:00.000-07:00

Regency Romance I have been reading romance novels for the past five years, now. But, of all the time periods main has to be the Regency Period. Take it form me, you will get sucked into it fast. I am doing research on a book I hope to start writing in a couple of years. I jyst don't know where to start. Angel in Lavander

2004-10-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

Romance novels can be bad for your health. Especially when you have such an active imagination as me. I find that I can escape reality when you read one. It's bad, but at the same time it is good. You see yourself in the characters sometimes and you feel like you need to change or just move on from a fantasy to reality don't have much to say. I am really finding a lot about myself. Exploration of

2004-10-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

2004-09-29T23:43:00.001-07:00

Journal Entries for Growth I found that writing my thoughts and feelings in a private journal everyday helps me deal with life. This blog is meant for me to bring up important issues that we should deal with and understand. It's a great place for me to do a lot of self discovery. I don' t have much to say at the moment, but I am in the process of starting my domain back up. It's been five years

2004-09-16T22:25:00.000-07:00

Desires of the Flesh Is it wrong to feel this way? Sometimes, I feel that it is. I remember growing up in the church. Reading the bible and being taught never to break any of the teachings. The morals that were laided down in front us, had to be followed. Now, as I grow older and my body changes. Feeling of desire take over. I try to fight them, but sometimes you just have to deal woth them.

2004-09-13T01:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't had much to say. Just reading. Romance Novels, mostly. Just looking for something that my life is lacking. The hardest thing to ever do in life is to look at your past mistakes. I just hate whay I have done, but I would never change my past for anything. Are you ready to settle down? commitment-friendly chick Here comes the..babe. You're not desperately to lock up a commitment with a

2004-09-09T01:52:00.000-07:00

The Dream For the longest time, I have had a desire. One so strong that I feel ......Pleasure just at the thought of it. This dream was one that I will remember forever. The way it plays out is strange. Yet, it feels so right. And the man that guides me through it is so real to me. It strange how it starts out. He is walking with me. I forget, why. But, as we go on I swear that I have met him

2004-09-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

The Future is Brighter The past has always been a stepping stone for the future. Dealing with it is always hard. You always believe that you will be better then the last experience you had. You always have to look at yourself as flawed, not perfect. Nothing in this world is perfect. People believe that things are, but nothing is. The faces of the past, seems to haunt is always. It doesn't make

2004-09-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

People are so hard to read and understand. I really don't get how people can let others destory them. Life is short and you are letting other destory you. That is so stupid. I sick of living in this house and seeing other be walked on. I am the kind of person that will fight for my freedom and rights. I am not the kind of person to be walked over. Why are people so stupid? They know that people

2004-09-01T10:41:00.000-07:00

Page Update: I am adding new features to the page, so bare with me. Also, I am aware of the problems with the links so don't tell me. Rants and Raves: I am rewriting all of my stories that I did when I was fourteen. I never finished them so. But, I need to find a experienced editor. I just can't find a good one. While, I'm going to write more this year and hopefully publish some of my stuff in

2004-08-08T04:02:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to make one thing clear to all of you guys. Knowledge is power. You should use it. Because, you never know when it will come in handy. Privacy Rights- http://www.privacyrights.org/. I can't believe the way things are now. Employers are looking at credit reports just to make decision about jobs. That don't really make any sense to me. I am so pissed off at the system of employment

2004-07-28T18:34:00.000-07:00

Nothing. Is free from the judgement of other? Who can judge us? Who is meant to judge us? Noone, but Jesus. Why do we judge those we only know from the clothes they wear. This culture that I am a part of it makes me sick and one day I will be judge by it. I am no child. I can make anything happeen, this is my life. And, I am proud to be the one the drives the wheel of today.

2004-07-13T15:25:00.000-07:00

The dreams that I have had latey are werid. Kisses that would make any sane women crazy. The desire is so strong that I believe I am insane to think other wise. I wish that there was a way I could be able to make this dream a reality. In reality, I could, but how. When, the one thing that I want I can't even touch. That is all that I have to say about that. :kisses from dreams: Angels Have No

2004-07-12T15:11:00.002-07:00

My heart will not lie to me know. I am in feeling a unknown emotion for a man that the stars will neve le me have. Or will they. I can't even start to understand the ways of my heart. Eveyrthing makes sense in my dream, but in real like I am blind by his sweet smile and the voice that I make everything so clear to me. I know what I most do, I will find the truth and hopefully It is not to late

2004-07-12T15:11:00.001-07:00

test12

2004-07-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

test!

2004-07-12T15:01:00.000-07:00

Test1

2003-08-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

:lost love or false claims: In the middle of what I thought was a strong relationship that would last I lost the one I cared most for. The unwarned reguest and the the timeless demands. I have to understand somethings about myself that matbe ugly or things that people expect me to be. Was it me or him that broke the bond? Only the heartache of love will make it work. I wish that I had someone

2003-05-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

after so much time my thoughts are random and endless in this dead world that i live in. :death is me:

2002-08-14T23:57:00.000-07:00

:why is life so hard?:

2002-06-10T16:24:00.000-07:00

I came back home and some much had changed. The family I once know was gone replaced with different people. I can see sometimes they are the same people that I love, but at other moment I cry inside because I know that they do have there own lives and I have mine. :rethink the present and the future:

2002-05-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

I am so sad and happy that summer is coming up! ::lost in the computer lab::

2002-03-23T15:28:00.000-08:00

It has been to long. My life is in a mess. I can't stop thinking about this one boy or guy. I have to survive a week without seeing him. Who is going to go crazy with worry? ME!!! ( crying in atlanta )

2001-12-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

I have so much to think about over the years my life has been so unexplainable and for that I am so sad. I look back on this year and hate myself for the things that I have done, :: to be concluded in next post::

2001-12-04T16:21:00.000-08:00

For the first time I am complete. ::note -- 78::

2001-11-28T15:10:00.000-08:00

I can't type that good so bare with me. For the past couple of days, I have be really thinking about my crush or the bye that has stolen my heart. He is so beautiful as I have told you many time before, but who is reading this anyway not me or I am I . Anyway, he leaves class early and I lose all interest. I am so sad as it is anyway. Can you believe that I have 18 days before I leave and I

2001-11-08T21:04:00.000-08:00

I just did something that I haven't done in years. I wrote a note to my crush and put it in his mailtube. That is not as bad as writeing your crush and teeling him, how in feel in love with him and whating to be friends. I will never ever be able to live that done. I was in high school. Don't act like you have ever done that before. I am not mad at m,yself. I did what I could or had to do. If I

2001-11-06T13:43:00.000-08:00

I just saw my crush again. The more that I see him the more I want him to be with me. When, will I get a chance to be with him and talk. Maybe, it is all on me I have to this for myself. I will sit her and tahonk of a way to talk to him. And the truth is that it will never be unless I get a push in that direction. I wish that he was her right know. I have to go, I will start to cry any minute

2001-11-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

The colclusion is waht is going on here in your life or when the @#@@ will I get over this facter of shyness that I have . Is it me are I am typeing this PERSONAL entry in public. And anyone that wants to can stand behind me a read this. Life is something that I can't help, but love and hate at the same time. Does this make ant sense to you? Because, its doesn't to me right know. I wrote a three

2001-10-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

I am so in love with this guy at my school. He has the hottest man that I have ever seen. But, I am too shy to talk to him is that a trip or what. Life is hard, but my friends help me out as much as they can. Well, I have to go. Bye. ------water is your friend ----- ::blue as the ocean:: :: golden as the wind:: ::#78::

2001-09-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, i have to tell you all, how much my rommate is getting on my nerves. She is no the internet all the time and has no ways of knowing when to stay off the phone. She never tells me when she is going to the grocery store so I can go with her. That is why I don't talk to her a lot anymore. is that wrong or right. ---wind goddess ----- ::in the blue:: :::crush no.52::

2001-08-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

He is all I can think about this day. He is my strength or my obsession. Time will tell. -------- wind goddess-------::redesgined::-----

2001-08-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

Stupid keyboard, everytime I press 'a' it doen't work. And you have to press harder, but with little press it is working fine know. I just hope that it has learned its lesson. Ok, I am not going to talk about any thing else. I am outtie.

2001-08-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

I just got excepted to college about two weeks ago. I should be happy, but I feel so sad and lonely. Can this be the end of my life? New people and experiences await me. All I can do is just pray and hope that my future is as bright I want it to be. Mostly, the issue of love come to mind when I think about hopes and dreams. Love is something to me a family and friends thing. Not love of the

2001-08-10T00:03:00.000-07:00

my website is going to be done for a long time, changeing servers is a hard thing to do. anyway, i will just say tha i am moveing around to much. college days, are on the way. wish me luck and pray for me. bye for know

2001-08-04T10:01:00.000-07:00

I am move in in two weeks and I have so much to do.

2001-07-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

I have been in so much pain. And since I finally finished building my cite I am happy about that. But, I feel like I am not doing a goo enough job with it. Maybe, one day I will feel stronger about myself. Until, then I have only one joy in my life drawing. That is something that I want to do forever. But, only time will tell if is for me. Whish I pray everyday that it is. That is all for today

2001-07-11T22:03:00.000-07:00

2001-07-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

just teating something out,here!!!!

2001-07-02T22:15:00.000-07:00

Today. I just can't believe that I got my first Sailor Moon Manga#1. I read the TokoPop version, and soon decided to by the manga. Anyway, I am so stressed. I hae applied to so many colleges. ANd theor is one I want to go to so bad. But, a nameless photo place has not give me my pictures in a week.They say that it will take week, I don't have week, more like seconds. I just can't take it any more

2001-05-28T13:10:00.000-07:00

I really am going to focus on me and no one else. After,so many years of heartbreak and tears, I am going to do my best to get to know me.